About Me

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Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Not Your Traditional Christmas

Last weekend, with Christmas just around the corner, I suggested to Hubby that we take his son into London to experience the lights and sounds of Christmas in our capital.... and what better way for him to experience his first ever trip to London. 

So, after a later than anticipated start, we made the three hour car journey south and took Hubby's son on his first ever underground tube ride. He was fascinated when we went underground, and was literally trying to take everything in, but also a little anxious with the newness of the adventure. 

Now there is no denying who My gorgeous stepson belongs to. He is definitely his father's son, and as we experienced the day trip in London with him, there were many things I wanted to linger over, like the Harrods Christmas window displays, which neither Hubby nor his son were interested in. And there were many things they were easily excited by, which I'd have happily done without, like eating in McDonalds, and looking at snow globes! Of course, I completely understood why they would want to get to Hamleys toy shop as soon as they could!

I really tried to get into the Christmas mood, playing Christmas songs on the way down (which neither males wanted to join in with), and stopping for eggnog coffee (which both Hubby and I have become addicted to!), but as always, at this time of the year, little things start to creep in to remind you that although Christmas is a time for children and family, there was a huge aspect of this missing in my life. 

Actually, it was while I was studying the miniature displays Harrods had created, and observing parents with their children, lifting them up to view the displays, while pointing different aspects out to them, that it hit me hardest. Especially as Hubby and Gorgeous Stepson had, by now, become bored and were sitting out of the way on some railings to wait for me. For a split-second, I imagined lifting my own child to look at the miniature mice in various Christmas poses, and both of us exclaiming in total awe and admiration, "Oh wow! Look at that!"

Children are miniature versions of their parents, and I can't help but wonder whether my own Bubba will reflect any of the excitement, joy and wonder I usually (or used to) feel around Christmas? In the past, I have loved it when my parents used to get me and my brothers a bag of chips and we would drive or walk around looking at the different light displays in town high streets, in the front gardens and walls of private home, as well as a special trip to London Town! Hubby and his son are both underwhelmed by this aspect of Christmas tradition, as much as I was enamoured by it all. 

I know Christmas is about more than that - it's actually about Jesus and the act of love He demonstrated when He gave up His throne in heaven and became like one of us.

But looking at it from an infertile perspective it's about what I haven't had yet.... A pregnancy. A birth. A baby. 

Father God, I pray that You would help me, and anyone like me, to focus on the love you demonstrated in such a powerful way. This is what should be important to me. Even though it's a bit of a struggle. Even though I am still childless another Christmas. Even though I don't have the opportunity to create family traditions, or carry on family traditions, or create family memories. Even though it will be just the two of us on Christmas Day, please Lord, help me to enjoy the day... with You as well as with Hubby. I pray You would ease the tension and pressure many childless couples feel at this time, especially those who know you. May this actually be a time of true Shalom during our own Journey for Bubba. And Lord, may You grant some of us the gift we so desperately desire - so that next Christmas, we might enjoy a different kind of day altogether. 

Monday, December 8, 2014

Public IVF Hopeful Story

I love it when you get a good news story! Especially when you get someone who has struggled to conceive, who finally has her dream come true! There's nothing better for building our own hope and faith than hearing of another woman's struggle being drawn to a close.

The Today show - a magazine-style show in The States - has a Style Editor who has been able to use her fame to share her journey with IVF. Bobbie Thomas has had the opportunity to be open about her struggle to conceive, and the need to follow the IVF route, while debunking some of the myths and stigma associated with women trying to conceive via IVF. Bobbie used her social media and the hastag #nomorewhispers to chronicle the hope, the joy, her fears, her pain and heartache as they started out trying for a baby using IVF. She also regularly spoke about the issue of IVF, and invited people to join her on a "live chat" where she would answer questions people may have had about her personal journal or just IVF or TTC in general.

Last week she had the joy of sharing her success with those who follow her, that after the fourth round, she finally had that BFP she and her hubby wanted. So if you are currently walking the IVF path, I hope this story gives you hope as you go through the cycle and face the physical battle each day.

Father God, I pray for Bobbie and her husband Michael, that you would be close to them at this time while the baby develops. Lord God I pray Your protection over mother and child and that no harm would come to either. Lord, I don't know what You actually feel about IVF, but I do know that YOU are the author of life, and I pray that You would give life to this couple who are watching their baby develop. Lord, I thank You for this gift of new life You are developing. 

And Father, I pray for all those who are going through IVF currently, that You would give them strength in their battle, to stand firm when they need You. Lord, I can only imagine what it must be like, but You are right there with them, with each injection, each medication, each hopeful thought or fearful moment. Please put Your arms around each of Your women who are walking this path, and bring them encouragement throughout the cycle. In Jesus' name I ask.